| Author |
Subject |
karen83
Registered User
(9/20/00 7:01:33 pm)
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I NEED
HELP!
THis isn't exactly college related,
but I think that some of you might be able to help me with this.
This is my 4th year in this level of my YS with the same conductor.
The first 2 years, he was VERY nice, and I had lots of fun.
Something happened last year, and I have no idea what. He started
yelling at me for EVERYTHING that I did wrong. Just to give you a
good picture of how things are set, he has the 2nd violins and the
cellos switched. So since I sit 2nd chair, I'm right under his nose.
Anyway, if I started fingering a passage with my left hand
while he was working with the violins(which he does for an hour at a
time sometimes) he would blow up at me. And JUST me. And I know he
has the right to yell at me for playing, and I stopped after he made
it clear he wanted me to stop. But I sit in rehearsals now(and then
too) and listen to the rest of the cello section fool around(one
girl even uses her bow sometimes) and he doesn't yell at anybody
else. And that's just one example. Last night there was supposed to
be a sf pizz and I was the only one that played it in the right
spot. Right away, he starts yelling at me for not playing loud
enough. Of course it wasn't loud enough, I was the only one
playing!!! And it's not just the yelling. Because yeah, maybe I
didn't play it loud enough for an individual either, but he doesn't
have to be so mean about it. He gives me these nasty dirty looks
when I mistakes too. I really feel like he thinks I don't deserve to
play the cello. And my friend that sits behind me sees it too, so
I'm almost positive I"m not imagining it.
So here's my
problem. We play awesome music in the orchestra. And for an hour we
do chamber music and I'm doing a Brahms Sextet(It's soo cool!!). I
questioned coming back to the orchestra ALL summer because of the
way it was last year. I finally decided that I would just put up
with my conductor because I just couldn't not be in it. And I hoped
that maybe things would be better if I could just start the year off
fresh and take it as a challenge and not make any mistakes. Plus,
I'm afraid of cutting off connections. (The president of the board
just got me a really well paying gig.) So I can't just quit, which
is the obvious solution to this problem. THe only way I can see
things getting better is if I talk to him. So here's the question:
WHAT DO I SAY? And how do I say it without it seeming like an attack
so he doesn't get defensive. Any ideas would be REALLY appreciated.
And if you don't think I should talk to him or have any other ideas
that would help too. Thanks.
Karen 
|
Laura
Wichers
Registered
User
(9/20/00 7:32:50 pm)
|
Re: I
NEED HELP!
Part of the reason that he is
harping on you and not the rest of the section may be your
leadership position. As assistant principal, you are responsible for
demonstrating proper rehearsal/concert etiquette, and are expected
to have the music well-prepared. This doesn't explain why he isn't
yelling at the principal, however.
What would I suggest?
First of all, I'd suggest talking to your section. Ask them to be
particularly careful about their own etiquette and preparation.
Maybe your conductor doesn't want to yell at the people farther back
in the section because, as one of my previous conductors seemed to
think, they need all the help they can get, and his yelling at them
certainly won't do anything for their self-esteem. You never know -
he could be paying you a compliment by assuming that you can take
his abuse and acknowledging your situation as a role model of sorts
for your section members.
Does your youth orch have a parent
representative? I would talk to he/she/them before going to your
conductor. For one thing, they can talk to him without possibility
of retribution, and they can generalize so as not to point fingers
at you. I know of one youth orch where the conductor was getting to
be so verbally and emotionally abusive that he nearly lost his job.
Fortunately for the orchestra, he cleaned up his act after the
parents threatened to pink-slip him.
Last, I'd talk to the
conductor. Remember: Be polite, controlled, and don't outright say
what you really think of him. Explain to him that you are trying
your best, really care about the orchestra, and want to know what it
is he expects of you. I've found that in similar situations, it's
always best to be more "how can I change?" than "you suck."
Something like "I want to help the orchestra more, what can I do?"
is a good place to start. If your conductor is worth his salt, he'll
have plenty of constructive ideas for you. And a bonus: Once you put
these ideas to work, he will have no reason to be nasty (assuming he
even has a reason now).
Hope some of this
helps.
-Laura
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