| Author |
Subject |
Liz
Schneider
Registered User
(9/11/00 9:45:27 pm)
Reply |
Just
coach my daughter, don't teach her.
OK, the parent wouldn't put in in
those terms, but that's what happened - I counted 7 "important"
events in one year which required "help" beyond the curriculum of
skills and repertoire I assigned. Youth orchestra, Allstate,
Federation, "X" State Symphony Fellowship, etc. and this girl was
talented but so unprepared in good cello basics I wanted to nurture.
I wonder now if the mother had been reading the back of music
teachers magazines for events to enter her daughter in.
What
should I do if I sense this coming again? I have a stage dad and his
daughter coming for an interview soon. To make it worse, he admits
he pushes his kids because they're a minority race, and he feels
they must outperform the whites. How does one handle this? Any
optimism? Comments please . . .
|
Bob
Registered User
(9/11/00 9:56:09 pm)
Reply |
Re:
Just coach my daughter, don't teach her.
If you don't teach the daughter,
how's she supposed to learn?
But the stage dad sounds like
the opposite problem. And maybe not a problem at all. I mean, Venus
Williams' dad pushed HER . . .
In any case, if things are
making you nuts with a student, or his/her parents, you sweetly
offer to recommend other teachers who they might work better
with.
|
Liz
Schneider
Registered User
(9/11/00 10:36:28 pm)
Reply |
Thanks
Bob
You're right, except maybe about the
dad. There may be healthy situations in which a parent can be
"pushy-" Tiger Woods' dad also comes to mind and he seems (from my
limited knowledge) to be warmer than the Williams' dad. But I was
disturbed by this father sharing his mindset about race. Trying to
set his kids up to defeat societal injustices by means of their high
school accomplishments? The playing field's not quite as slanted as
the late 50's when he was in high school. Therein lies a topic I'm
sure but- trying to stay on the music subject- Can we tell this dad
that music and sports are colorblind? Tell but not convince. My
concerns:
1) She won't enjoy music for itself - ever - it's so
easy to mix music up with self worth even without stage parents . .
.
2) I'm just a stepping stone to the next event and next
teacher with longer resume, because the older sister changed
teachers so often that seems their pattern.
3) Just as success
attributed to talent, anything less than their greatest expectations
attributed to racism.
|
mcello
Registered User
(9/12/00 7:50:39 am)
Reply |
Just
Coach.....
As a musician who is a parent, I
have often been critisized for not pushing my children harder in
music. Even though I'm a cellist, my daughter is much more
interested in voice and thats been her private lessons, etc. for the
past 3 years. I really have a hard time with parents who push too
hard. There is a 10 year old cello student who has recently moved to
our community and the parents are pushing to get him into youth
orchestra, which is for 8th graders - high school and even though
the kid may be good (I still have not heard him play) I'm all for
letting kids be kids and not over pushing them when they are too
young. As for not ever getting to work on technique, etc. I think
you may just have to lay down the rules to Mom and tell her that if
she will slow down, her daughter will improve greatly and truly be
ready for the competitions etc., but that if she doesn't get the
basics....she will always be frustrated.
A friend of mine's
son began lessons, 2 weeks ago, and she commented to me on the phone
that she was surprised at how basic the practice was right now. I
patiently had to explain that until they can actually move the bow
comfortably and work on a little left hand technique that its very
difficult to do anything else. I wish I had a way to have kids
playing concertos the first week, but reality is that this does not
happen!
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