| Author |
Subject |
MrParody
Registered User
(3/12/01 6:09:29 pm)
Reply |
The
Long awaited Parody!
Cellokid145:
Hey everyone! I just
got the Starker Road to cello playing CD. I think it’s great! The
Popper Etdues are amazing! Just thought you guys might like to know.
This is a great new CD!
HelenP:
Oh great! Yet another
cellist and recording that I have to ask all about. As much as I
love discovering new things, it’s really getting to be a pain
keeping up with all these new “discoveries”. CMS, why haven’t you
told me about this one yet? Geez, I’m gonna have to increase my CD
budget now, thanks a lot, CelloKid!
LaraWickers:
Hi
CelloKid, it’s actually not a new CD, where have you been, haven’t
you been paying attention? Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I think
it’s a great CD too. You must be pretty young. Have you considered
posting on the Young Cellists or College
boards?
HelenP:
Oh great! More multiple board stuff. Come
on people, get with the program! Repeat after me: BOARD UNIFICATION!
ONE BOARD, ONE MIND! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!! Err… excuse me… 
LorinnaDonner:
While I agree that Starker is considered
one of the greatest cellists around, I don’t approve of his
baldness. Let me clarify this. I don’t like cellists who lack a
certain amount of hair on the tops of their heads. I’ve found that
performers who have a full head of hair are usually not as,
well….BALD!
MetsyB:
Lorrinna, it’s not like you to post
like that. Everyone is entitled to their head-hair or lack therof.
Personally, I think Starker looks very friendly!
KaryM:
Oh
Lorinna, give us all a break and shut the #$%#$ up! I for one think
that bald cellists are cool! Cheers!
PeterTsong, ICS
Rod:
Excuse me, Lorinna? Where did this come from? Perhaps if you
were to say, the Bald cellists I’ve heard lack hair on their head
and I don’t like it, less people would be attacking you? And Kary,
you’d better tone it down because we can check your IP address, we
can ban your user account and if your really bad, we can force you
to look at my new baby’s website pictures over and over again until
you comply!
KaryM:
Peter, get a @#$#%% life!
Cheers!
CoryStooka: All I can tell you is that you don’t get
to hear Starker play with us here in the Jacksonville Symphony that
often, and when he comes, you still can’t hear him play!
Rob:
Very funny, Cory. Listen, I could go on for hours in Starker’s
defense who certainly needs no defending. But I’d rather go on and
tell you about how incredibly gifted and perfect Bernard Greenhouse
is. Surely no one here would allow themselves to look stupid enough
to disagree!
PA: Good god! You people have no clue do you?
There are NO great musicians around any more. The last great cellist
was Feuermann and I was lucky enough to have had his ghost playing
in my living room when I was a little kid. It’s pathetic the garbage
we have to listen to today with these “so called cellists” like Yo
Yo Ma, Rostropovich, Starker. What’s even worse is hearing all these
youngsters who are totally clueless go on and on about how great
these second rate musicians are. Bob, you are pushing the limits
there with Greenhouse, but he’s more than 60 years old, so I’ll
credit you with that.
MrCello:
When I was a little boy,
cellists used gut strings. Today they use all kinds of substances.
Tungsten, steel, Kevlar, etc.
When I was a little boy, cellists
used endpins and rock stops. Today they use all kinds of substances.
(Chrome, carbon fibre, titanium)
When I was a little boy,
cellists ate donuts. Today they use all kinds of
substances….
When I was a little boy, cello teachers could teach
you scales and etudes. Today they just teach you to play louder and
faster.
NorieHaus:
With all due respect, MrCello, not all
of us were little boys! I’m not comfortable with the underlying
sexist, ultra-conservative message in your post! BTW, I have 2
really cute cats that sit on top of my computer
monitor!
RickalessHenderson:
People, you are going about
it all wrong! It doesn’t matter what kind of cellist Starker or any
other so called “great” artists play like. Don’t try to imitate
them. It’s wrong to think that their greatness can’t be learned. I
can teach you to be great! I learned it from my teacher and now I
give seminars on cello greatness. You have to find that special
something in yourself. It’s no great mystery! It really offends me
when someone sterile as “Jowels” Starker gets all this praise for
being the GREATEST cellist alive. As if his greatness was
supernatural! Again, I teach greatness to cellists in my seminars
and if you want to be great too, you should sit in on one of
them!
MosesReavs
Hey, I got this CD too and I don’t know
what you are all fussing about! Mr. Starker plays these Popper
Etudes so darn fast that I can’t keep up with him. But my goal is to
play the Kodaly Sonata as good as him one day.
PeterTsong,
ICS Rod:
Moses, that’s a great goal! Maybe you should listen to
some Rostropovich recordings too! I like Starker’s Kodaly too, but
if it’s Shostakovich, Prokofiev or any Soviet composer, I’d rather
hear Rostropovich. BTW, did I tell you about how he hugged and
kissed me when I saw him in his LA concert? I did? Oh well, you
should go and see the pictures on my website again
anyway!
Zimbabweecello:
Hey, at least Starker and Slava
don’t have to worry about making mistakes when they play with
orchestras. If they play during a rest (not that I ever do that)
they will still have a job tomorrow.
ChristoffChen:
Here’s
a link to Starker’s Popper etudes recording story
www.starker.com/asp=?231.jsp.ser
Here’s
a link to Starker’s Baldness Annonymous site
http://www.starker.com/asp=12023*ser/hairclubformen.html
Here’s
a link to Slava’s Baldness Annonymoust site
www.slava.com/hair/loss/shine.html
Here’s
a link to Starker and Slava’s mutual agreement not to compete in the
baldness arena
http://www.baldness.settlement.org/agreement/noncompetitive.html
JimTanof:
Isserlis
says that “baldness has no bearing on a cellist’s playing. That
said, I’m glad I have a very full head of hair. But in all honesty,
there’s that 1% that I’m missing from pure cellistic perfection. I
can’t help but wonder if I’d achieve that same perfection if I were
partially bald like Casals, Slava, Starker, etc.) I guess I’ll never
know and have to settle with being merely a 99% infallible
cellist.”
Nelsova says: “…I for one think that Baldness is
absolutely darling in a cellist. But not for a woman cellist like
myself! We women cellist should adorn ourselves proportionate to our
talent. That’s why I wear the most elaborate gowns whenever I play.
I am proud of my full head of hair too. It all reflects on MY
playing”
PA:
I can personally attest to Nelsova’s perfect
hair and perfect technique!
YellowGeek:
Y’all a bunch o
losahs, yo! I’m not much of a cello fool, but I’ll tell ya this! Ya
gotta be down wif some serious Eminem if ya want some phat music,
yo!
DavidSandles:
This is a very interesting thread, but
I’m not going to have much time to contribute to it. The JSO is
going start a 363 day tour of Antartica starting tomorrow. I hope
they have internet cafes there so we can send you daily updates.
CoryStooka and I will be bartering with the local penguins for any
autographs and old pictures they may have of any artists who have
played there. We’ll keep you all posted. BTW, Starker isn’t as bald
as he looks in his pictures.
VectorSeizure:
Playing
perfectly in tune like Starker involves finding just the right
balance of your body. True, not all of us can boast that shiny plate
of a bald head like he does, but we can learn from it and how it
affects his cello playing.
Try this:
1)Sit in a chair with
both feet slightly spread
2)Have someone shave the front of your
heard
3)Notice how there is a slightly lighter feeling in your
head and how your neck has less tension
4)Begin to sway left and
right when you play your downbows and upbows
5)Next, have your
friend shave the sides of your head
6)Begins to sway forward and
backwards as you play
Soon you’ll notice that with a bald
head, the aerodynamics involved produce a much more nimble agility.
This is facilitated by the reduction of drag, yaw and pitch from a
full head of hair. Be sure to read about this in my 30th edition of
New Directives in Cello Playing! Be sure not to pay attention to the
picture of Rostropovich in the Japanese edition. It shows him when
he was younger and with a near full head of hair. Certainly a
misrepresentation of
concepts!
PriceyTrace:
Personally, I think that bald
cellists are very huggable. Like teddy bears. Not that I’d try
shaving my head as Mr. Seizure suggests. Hmmm….maybe….
|
Bob
Registered User
(3/12/01 7:07:30 pm)
Reply |
Lest
there be any confusion, this isn't mine
|
Paul
Tseng ICS Staff 
Administrator
(3/12/01 7:25:11 pm)
Reply
 |
Hahaha!....... ?
Hey, that was pretty funny!
 I guess
I should stop being so prideful about my kid's website with all
those baby pictures.
Paul Tseng
My Website
Alexander's website
MP3!
|
Betsy
C 
Registered User
(3/12/01 8:27:24 pm)
Reply |
Re: The
Long awaited Parody!
It's me, Betsy C (or is it Metsy B?)
Anyway, it's hard enough to be an adult newbie to the cello without
having to worry about my coiffure. This is another stellar parody to
be read, hooted and laughed over, and then read again. Bob, I'm kind
of sorry it isn't you who did this. It's hilarious! It captured
everyone's essence so accurately! Now I want to know who the genius
is so that proper accolades can be bestowed.
P.S. Paul-
you're a new Dad. We make allowances!
And
as for my friend Vector- let me state emphatically that I am
thoroughly enjoying learning to play the cello with techniques that
he has developed (Bless you, Victor!) and that Walter has not made
me get a Mohawk or shave my head in a cello lesson yet.
Edited by: Betsy
C at: 3/12/01 8:27:24 pm
|
Laura
Wichers
Moderator
(3/12/01 8:32:52 pm)
Reply |
Re:
just isn't the Real Thing.
|
drcello
Registered User
(3/12/01 9:01:54 pm)
Reply | Edit
 |
When I
was a boy...
When I was a boy, we didn't write
parodies like this...
(Pretty good parody!)
Marshall C. St. John
drcello@vei.net
Cello Heaven
|
Tracie
Price 
Registered
User
(3/12/01 10:19:47 pm)
Reply |
Re: The
Long awaited Parody!
Hmmmm... I really WAS joking about
shaving my head earlier today...
O dear....
(just
because my co-worker has a shaved head and we are swapping work
schedules on Wednesday, so I thought I would also have to shave my
head)
Smileys are bald too.
|
zambocello
Registered User
(3/12/01 11:00:15 pm)
Reply |
Dig it
!
|
Lucy
Clifford
Registered User
(3/13/01 12:48:54 am)
Reply |
Jolly
good show!
|
Paul
Tseng ICS Staff
Administrator
(3/13/01 1:02:41 am)
Reply
|
And now
the speculation begins!
Thanks Metsy, I mean Betsy! I guess
all parents are proud, aren't they?
I too would like to know
who wrote this Parody. Hmmmm....Bob, how do we know this wasn't you?
Just because you say it wasn't by you doesn't necessarily make it
so, you know. That might be just what you WANT us to believe! (Don't
be modest, take the credit where it's due!) Then again, maybe it
really WAS someone else.... hmmm....
TAP TAP TAP
TAP
Paul Tseng
My Website
Alexander's website
MP3!
|
Christopher
Chan
Registered
User
(3/13/01 2:54:14 am)
Reply
 |
Re: The
Long awaited Parody!
www.rpi.edu/~chanc3/hairclub.htm
|
cellochris99
Registered User
(3/13/01 3:42:40 am)
Reply |
Re:parody
Who is "cellokid145" representing,
cellofreak1286 or cellochick?
Chris
|
BA
Registered User
(3/13/01 5:22:12 am)
Reply |
<<Grin>>
Very Funny! But somehow I am afraid
that 'PA' is right...
|
Dorie
Straus 
Moderator
(3/13/01 5:56:48 am)
Reply |
Definately not Bob, style-thing.
|
justinkagan1
Registered
User
(3/13/01 9:53:05 am)
Reply |
Re:
Definately not Bob, style-thing.
I agree that this isn't Bob for
stylistic reasons...he'd never allow any typos for one. I still
laughed a bunch tho' not as much as Parody I, which had me crying),
whoever it is...I suspect Dorie. But any way you cut it, this
current goup of chatters is quite a bit less extreme than the
previous generation...must be too busy practicing and lurking at
sharmusic.com. Let's hope that Bob has an easy week of case work and
rises to the occasion...
|
ekifri
Registered User
(3/13/01 9:56:36 am)
Reply |
I
suspect........
Kevin McGowin!
Where were
you, Kevin, on the night of the 12th?
-eva
|
sarah
schenkman
Registered User
(3/13/01 10:48:44 am)
Reply |
Very
funny.
|
Paul
Tseng ICS Staff
Administrator
(3/13/01 1:24:07 pm)
Reply
|
Chris,
that's awesome
Apparently ChristoffChen was serious
about those links!
Good job! I nominate Chris to be our
backup webmaster or vice-webmaster or whatever! Cool!
Paul Tseng
My Website
Alexander's website
MP3!
Edited by: Paul
Tseng ICS Staff at:
3/13/01 1:24:07 pm
|
Paul
Tseng ICS Staff
Administrator
(3/13/01 1:27:56 pm)
Reply
|
Re:
Definately not Bob, style-thing.
What is "Bob" Style, anyway?
Enquiring minds want to know.
Paul Tseng
My Website
Alexander's website
MP3!
|
Tracie
Price
Registered
User
(3/13/01 3:28:19 pm)
Reply |
Hahahahahahahaha Brilliant work!
|
Ernie77
Registered User
(3/13/01 3:53:16 pm)
Reply |
Bravo.......Encore Encore!!!!!!
|
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